Modern Inconveniences
by AmandaTheVampireLove
Summary: What happends when Erik is sucked into the future, and cannot seem to get back. What happens when a bunch of Phan girls makes him match up with such modern things as automated toilets? Only this story will tell...
1. Default Chapter

Modern Inconveniences

Scare 1: Automated Toilet

Erik, who was taking bit of a tour of the outside world, and was in the odd paradox world of Phangirls, so, obviously, in 2005, was still alive, had to use the bathroom. He had no idea how he had gotten here. One moment, he was singing, 'It's over now, the music of the night' and the next… he was in this odd place, of things he didn't know. There seemed to be quiet a few girls staring and snickering at him, and one with green eyes and brown hair, who was rather short and pale had actually ran up and hugged him. He hadn't caught her name... was it… Amanda? And her friend… Sandra… who had actually tried her hardest to get him to take off his mask. He had ran to the nearest building he could find.

Of course, everyone was staring at him, he was, after all, the only normally dressed person here! The girls were wearing men clothes… and he had seen quiet a few boys in things that he wouldn't be caught dead in. He sighed, and looked around. The place was small, and smelled of food, and… there were great golden arches around…

"Must be a safe house…" he murmured, and then looked around confusedly, really REALLY needing to use the bathroom.

He finally spotted a sign that said bathroom. He made his way in.

A series of screams sounded, and he was roughly slapped out of the bathroom by a bunch of ladies… "I'm sorry!" He shouted after them, as they closed the door in his face… All he had wanted to do was use the bathroom, for heavens sake!

He turned, watching a man walk into the other bathroom… maybe this way was safe…

XXXXxxxxXXXX

Amanda looked over at Sandra…

"Did you plant the device?"

Sandra nodded… "Yes, I did…"

Amanda laughed evilly… "Let us watch."

XXXxxxxXXXX

Erik finally found a bathroom he could use, though the thing was great big and white, and didn't look at all sanitary. He sat down carefully, and looked around to make sure that no one was looking at him. Nothing would surprise him in this place. Finally, he did his business.

After, he looked around, and found a roll of toilet paper. He reach for it, and pulled.

"_Remember to wipe, from front to back! Come on now, wipe that crack!"_

Erik screamed, tried to jump up, and fell into the toilet, reaching desperately for his Punjab lasso.

"Whose there!" He shouted angrily, trying to hoist himself out of the automated flushing. The water under him swirled around, as the bodiless voice continued as he tried to desperately scramble out by grabbing the toilet paper dispenses…

"_Come on now, almost through, get another wipe and clean that poo!" _

He screamed again in aggravation, and then finally managed to pull himself out of the toilet. Now, thoroughly drenched, and embarrassed, he stalked unhappily out of the bathroom, where the two girls were snickering…

"Did you get that on tape?" Amanda asked Sandra innocently.

"Oh yes…"

Erik stalked out of the place to wander around, wondering how to get home…

XXXXXXX


	2. What in the WORLD is SLASH?

Modern Inconveniences

Part Two: What in the WORLD is slash?

Erik oh-so-unhappily rounded the corner, his clothes still from the talking toilet. He let out a soft sigh, look up, and seeing a library, thought that this had to be a safe place. What could be wrong with books?

Of course, there happened to be yet another crazed Phan, and… there wasn't only books in a library, there were also computers with an internet connection.

The girls walkie-talkie went off, and her hazel eyes widened as she picked it up.

"Michelle!" A voice hissed into her ear, while another laughed in the background.

"Yes?" The girl, now revealed as Michelle, said. She pushed her brown, wavy hair out of her face, and peered out the window.

"He's coming. Operation 'Slash', is now in effect." She nodded happily and hid the walkie-talkie as Erik entered. She watched as he looked around, and then saw the computers. He, of course, wouldn't know what they were, so she was nice enough to stand and hold out a blanket.

"You're wet, I thought you'd need it." She smiled shyly at him. Of course, she couldn't let him know what evilness she was plotting. He looked at her gratefully, and then sat down beside her, wrapping the blanket around him.

He didn't want to sound stupid, but, curiosity got the best of him, and he asked… "What is that thing?" while pointing to the computer. Michelle looked up from the website that she was on, and smile brilliantly at him.

"This is a computer, I'm on the internet, would you like for me to show you?" If the girl thought it strange that he had on a mask and was dressed as someone from the 1800's, then she didn't act like it. Maybe this was a normal person, though, she too, was dressed in the odd clothes that the people seemed to run around in. Maybe she had just gotten smart, and decided to blend. He was going to have to do something…

"Yes please." He didn't want to offend the only ally that he seemed to have made in this strange world.

"Okay." Her shy grin turned rather mischievous, but Erik was too intent on the screen, where a bug danced, with the words, 'Smash Flick the Fly and get 10,000 dollars' stamped across the screen. He was amazed at it, but said nothing, as she leaned over to grab a white thing.

"This is the mouse." She explained, and he looked around warily.

"There shouldn't be mice in a library, where is the rat catchers?" He looked around, wanting to see if there were any more of the little critters skittering around his feet. Of course, he was totally comfortable with mice, but he didn't want one crawling up his pants.

"No no no Erik, this," She held up the little white thing in her hand. "It makes the computer move." He didn't think for a moment how odd it was that she knew his name when he hadn't even given it to her, since he was too amazed with the computer. Instead, he watched as she typed in a word at the top of the computer screen. what in the world was fanfiction, and why was it in a net? However, he refrained from asking, sure that she would explain. Instead, she simply clicked on a few things faster than he could keep up with, and was soon scrolling down a page, where he caught snippits of words.

The Crimson Rose – lazy.kender

Tale of a Fateful Tip- CouldxInxCrimson

The Phantom and the Fop- Amandathevampirelove…

Wait just a minute… what was that last one? But, too late, she clicked into one, though he watched as her face turned red, as if the very thought were making her a little disgusted… (Would we not all get sick at Raoul/Erik slash…)

"This is a fanfiction… I'll leave you to it for a moment while I go and check out this book." She held one up, something by a woman called Susan Kay… he didn't catch the title. "Now then, all you do, is push this little arrow on the keyboard, see, here, to scroll down. I'll be right back." And she ran off to hide in the rolls of bookshelves, where she joined to laughing girls. One had green eyes and was rather short, and one was still giggling something about toilets, and wiping ones crack. Erik, however, was oblivious, as he read in horror…

Erik's loneliness was overwhelming, every since Christine had left him, he didn't know if he had the will to go on…

His eyes widened, as he read on…. How in the WORLD did they know about him and Christine, and who was this person?

…he didn't know if he had the will to go on… were it not for Raoul.

Amanda, Sandra, and Michelle looked at one another, and Michelle counted down silently… 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

Erik's scream came from the front of the library, and he quickly jumped up, bashed the mouse and keyboard against the floor, and ran for his life towards the outside so he could throw up.

After he had left, and they were sure that Kira had tags on him, (your cameo is next!) they went up to see where he had gotten to…

Amanda made a face as she read, glad that she hadn't had lunch, while Sandra couldn't seem to focus, she was laughing so hard. Michelle grinned like an idiot, and read the page that Erik had left off at.

…. Were it not for Raoul. Erik looked back at the man who he loved, giving him a kiss…

And then Michelle too turned slightly green and started laughing…

"Did you get it on tape?" Amanda asked between sobs… she grinned happily as Michelle pulled out the hidden camara, and rewound it. All three girls watched as Erik's face appeared, stared in amazement at the screen. They watched Michelle get up, and Erik take her seat. They watched his amazement at seeing his name, and then…

The gagging started, and Erik's eyes went wide, his face turning a mixture of green and red. He stood, bashed the things on the floor, and ran out with his hand over his mouth…

All three girls fell over laughing…

A ringing sound brought their attention back, and Amanda answered her walkie-talkie… "Kira here…"

Amanda grinned. "You got tabs?"

She heard Kira's laughter over the static noise of the hand held talking device… "He just finished throwing up. That must have been a bad one…"

Amanda nodded confirmation, even thought Kira couldn't see it, and then added, "Oh yes, one of our worst…" They both giggled for a moment, and then Kira added in lower tones…

"Operation Simulator is about to commence…"

Amanda grinned, and then gestured to the two girls with her… "Good… Come on guys, you wont want to miss this one…" And all three took off for the mall, where the new simulator had been installed. This week's attraction was… 'Dinosaur Attack 2'.

XXXxxxxXXXX


	3. The FOrce

Part Three: The Force…

Erik, after having experienced the foulest thin in his life, made his way towards a brightly lit placed called Wal-Mart. Surely nothing worse could happen to him. Of course, there was always Phan # 4 in our story… Kira.

Now, Kira, having been alerted by her trusty Walkie-talkie that the Phantom was coming this way, was totally prepared when he entered the sliding doors.

"Welcome to Wal-Mart, my name is Kira, can I help you?" She had had to practice that over and over again, because what she wanted to say went something like this, 'Welcome to Wal-Mart, I have evil plans against you, I'm your number one Phan, can I have your mask?'. That simply wouldn't do for the undercover situation that she was in.

Erik, still looking slightly green, nodded graciously, and let the red headed girl lead him to a rather comfy contraption that she called a Lacey Boy. He could only imagine that the fop had invented it… Lace indeed.

"Now you wait right here, and I'll go and fetch you something to make that stomach settle…" and, with one last look, away she whisked.

People who walked by started, while two girls, rather familiar looking walked past.

"Sandra, Kira's gonna get them!"

"Shush Amanda, lets go hide in the electronics and watch."

However, Erik was too out of it, relaxed in his lacey boy to pay them any attention.

"Back!" The attendant Kira said, her hazel eyes flashing brightly. She handed him a blue box, and he looked past her to see a cart filled with three more boxes of something…

He looked suspiciously at the box, and then, curiously peeking, opened it. "Some mores?" He arched the eyebrow not covered by the mask.

"They'll make EVERYTHING better dear, just eat them." Kira nodded in confirmation. He took the blue package, and with one last look at Kira, put the blue bag into his mouth and bit down.

A series of giggles sounded from all around him, and he looked up suspiciously while Kira took the bitten package from him. Little hearts danced in her eyes, and she pocketed it, then pulled out another from the box.

"Don't eat the wrapper. You open it, and then eat the contents." She showed him where the plastic paper met, and then proceeded to open it for him while he stared. A smell wafted up to him, making his stomach roll in hunger. He took the offered package, and slid out on of the little… what were they?

"S'more pop tarts." Kira explained and he nodded, taking one of the tarts delicately. He placed the corner in his mouth and bit into it. His eyes flew wide, and he placed his hand at the back of the tart, cramming the complete pastry into his mouth in one deft motion.

Kira laughed evilly, handing him a jar of milk while he reach for the pastry's twin.

Three Hours Later

Erik was running around Wal-Mart, though, running wasn't the word. He was on something, Kira had told him it was a scooter, running from the men who were chasing him while shouting something about not driving in the store, and owing them for precisely three boxes of poptarts.

Now, for people who aren't familiar with boxing, inside each box were exactly 36 smaller boxes, containing 4 packages, which held 2 tarts each. Now, shall we multiply?

3 boxes containing 36 smaller boxes equals 108 small boxes. IN those 108 small boxes were 4 wrapped packages, which equaled 432 wrapped packages. Now, inside each wrapped package were 2 poptarts. IN total, over a process of 3 hours, Eri k had consumed a total of 864 tarts. Of course, minus the pack that Kira had taken, so only 862. It's not humanly possible!

Don't tell me that, tell that to the scootering Phantom.

Speaking of him, the store managers were trying to catch him.

"Come back here!" the fattest man shouted, waddling up and down the aisles after the speeding Phantom.

"You'll never catch me you old fat…" Erik broke into giggles, jumping off the scooter just in time to let it run into a large cage of bouncy balls, which in turned, crashed down upon the fat mans head.

"Quick!" Kira shouted.

"This way!" Amanda and Sandra and the girl from the library shouted. They lead him over towards the clothes department.

XXXxxxXXX

Two managers ran by the clothes, looking for the rampaging, tart stealing, crazy man in a mask. However, all they saw were displays. One was a girl with green eyes (Amanda) and another (Sandra) holding two long toy sabers, posed in fighting stance. The first had on black robes, and her saber was red. The other was garbed in brown, and had a blue saber.

"Star Wars movie coming out." One said to the other, and they went on. The next display was a girl sitting down with a large hat over her face so that you couldn't make out her featured, and a copy of 'The Phantom of the Opera' by Gaston Leroux in her hands.

"Phantom came out May 3rd." The other manager said, and they continued on.

They last display was the one that got them, however.

There was two women, though one seemed awfully masculine for it. The red head was smiling prettily , and had on a huge pair of sunglasses, while the other had yet another large hat covering her face. The manager, how curious as to what lay under the hat, walked up and tugged it off to reveal… The crazy, tart stealing, scooter riding, mask wearing maniac!

Erik, realizing that he had been discovered, took the hat from the mans hand, pulled it over his face, and hiking up his SKIRT, ran for his life, while the managers ran after him.

"RUN ERIK!" Kira shouted, while he laughed like Michael Crawford (Grins) and ran. Amanda and Sandra ran forward, and unclipped their spare sabers, from their belts. They threw one to Kira and one to Erik. Kira grabbed up the blue one, and Erik the red. The fourth female stood and played Yoda.

"Fighting they are. Phantom he is. S'mores hyperize… FIGHT!" and in a quick motion, Erik and Kira snapped the plastic sticks out of the holders and looked death at the men standing in the middle of the three crazy Phan girls and one Phantom who just happened to be high at the moment. Then, Erik drifted to Amanda's side, and Kira went to Sandra…

Actions were to quick to write down, however, the dialogue went as follows.

ERIK: Join me, or die!

MANAGER1: Sir, put the toy down!

AMANDA: Now, Sandy-wan-ka-no-bee! Join us!

SANDY-WAN: Never!

KIRA: We'll never join you Darth Amanda and Fa-Air-Ma-Gar-Darth-Erik (lol, Kira… that's so funny!)

FA-AIR-MA-GAR-DARTH-ERIK: Join us or fall forever!

SANDY-WAN and PRINCESS-KIRA: NEVER!

DARTH AMANDA: Then DIE!

A loud series of screams-

FA-AIR-MA-GAR-DARTH-ERIK: My arm, they'be taken my arm!

Darth Amanda: NOOO!

another series of screams-

SANDY-WAN: Go on without my!

DARTH AMANDA and FA-AIR-MA-GAR-DARTH-ERIK: HAHAHAH! MUAHAHAHAH!

PRINCESS KIRA: I'll kill you! Growlish!

FA-AIR-MA-GAR-DARTH-ERIK: I'm not your father Princess Kira!

PRINCESS KIRA: **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO** –takes breath- **OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

XXXxxxXXX

Now, confusing as that was, I'll try to explain. While Amanda, Kira, Sandra, and Erik hit each other with sticks like idiots, Yoda came up and bashed the managers over the heads and knocked them out.

"Die, die, die!" Erik and Amanda shouted, whacking Kira and Sandra on the heads, until the smiled, fell down, and made choking sounds while twitching, until they finally stopped, sticking their tongues out (SAW people, SAW)

After the performance, all stood, bowed to no one, and ran while another set of managers came.

Outside, Erik was telling the girls of his 'adventure', from then, all the way to, "I got attacked by a talking toilet. Then I went to a library and I read this awful story, then ate all these tarts and now…" He smiled crazily… "Erik feels gooooooooooooooooood."

All four girls nodded, leading Erik towards the mall, where the next evil plan would begin. Operation 'GET SOME MORE' had been a success. Next was Operation 'MOVIES', where they could meet with their friend Kristi.


	4. Movies

-

Kristi's Cameo…. Operation: MOVIES

Sandra radioed Kristi soon after they left Wal-Mart. As Erik had named her, 'the girl from the library', had to run off somewhere (you'll come back dear, don't worry)

"Sandy-ran! Tell Kristi we will be there soon." Amanda chimed happily.

"Kristi, we'll be there soon." Sandra said into the walkie-talkie.

"I heard." Kristi's voice sounded flatly over the walkie-talkie.

Soon enough, they arrived at their destination.

"What's a Mega-Plex?" Erik asked in a confused tone. The three girls led him inside with grins plastered across their faces.

Now, Kristi had had to pull quiet a few strings, but had managed through sheer annoyance on her part to get The Phantom of the Opera playing for a private screening.

The girls led him towards the back of the theater, where Kristi joined them.

"Umm… is she alright?" Erik asked, after Kristi drooled at him for a good five minutes before leading them back towards their room in the back.

Sandra grinned. "I thinks he's better than she had been in a long time. Come along dear." She took Kristi's arms when she stopped again and led her onward.

"Umm… who gets to sit beside Erik?" Amanda asked, attaching herself to his arm and making it clear that she wasn't letting go. It is, after all, her story.

"Me!"

"Me!"

"Me!"

Kristi, Sandra, and Kira shouted at the same time. Sandra and Kira started to unclip their sabers from Wal-Mart, but Amanda settled the matter.

"It's Kristi's idea, she gets to sit by him." Of course, the other two girls reluctantly agreed, though Sandra did make the proposition on sitting on his lap…

And so, they were seated in the middle of the room like so.

Erik sat in between Amanda and Kristi, Amanda on the masked side, Kristi on the other. After a few mumbled protests, Amanda finally ended up with Sandra on her side, and Kira on Kristi's, who had carried in 5 large tubs of popcorn to distribute among Phantom and Phans. The four girls and Phantom finally settled down.

"What is this?" Erik asked.

"A movie." Kristi answered.

"A what?" Erik asked.

"Just watch!" Kristi answered, as the lights went dark.

"Why did it get dark?" Erik asked in alarm, but the four girls, two clinging to his arms, remained silent.

"AHHH!" Erik shouted, as a large man appeared on the screen before him. "Giants! Amanda, Kristi! GIANTS!"

Amanda, Kristi, Sandra, and Kira fell over in giggles, and Amanda explained the mechanics of a movie theater quickly during previews.

AFTER THE PREVIEWS

"Lot 664 ladies and gentlemen."

"Look!" Erik said excitedly, his initial shock of large giant people on a big screen abated. "It's the Opera House!"

The four girls looked at each other and smiled knowingly.

"Lot 665…"

"ZINGEY!" Erik shouted, trying to stand up, while Amanda and Kristi restrained him. Sandra wordlessly mouthed 'Zingy' To Kira, who just shrugged.

Erik stared in amazement as his monkey was auctioned.

"Sold for 30 Francs to the Vicomte de Changy."

"WHAY! NO! That man cannot have him!" Erik whined… and… continued to whine all the way through until the moment that the name, 'Christine' was mentioned. He quickly shut up, monkey momentarily forgotten, and watched.

"Christine sang much better." He commented softly to Kristi, who was waiting patiently…

"And Carlotta was much worse." He turned to Amanda, who stared straight at him as the music picked up…

"Insolent boy, this slave of fashion!"

Erik's jaw went slack.

The four girls giggled happily while the scene unfolded.

"Look at your face in the mirror. I am there INSIDE!" Erik's mouth opened wider, as he saw Gerard Butler's face with his mask on.

"Handsome devil." Sandra whispered to Kristi, who nodded in full agreement.

"Look at how masculine and manly I am!" Erik gloated gleefully.

"Oh, we see alright." Kira gazed longingly at the Phantom seated only one seat away from her.

After a moment, he noticed.

"I meant the one on the screen."

Kira grinned.

Erik, after a moment, shrugged. "And Raoul looks like such a fop…"

"Nighttime sharpens," Erik heard a collective sigh, as Kristi and Amanda leaned against him dreamily while Sandra and Kira sighed once more.

Erik, knowing the lyrics, sang along without thinking.

Kristi let out a squeal.

"I'm in heaven!" Sandra shouted looking from Gerard to Erik with happiness in her eyes.

"I ah… drr… nyah… behha…" Amanda clung to Erik and managed not to drool too awfully much.

"I love you." Kira declared brazenly.

Erik, now fully enjoying the effect he was having, continued. Only when the song was over could any of the girls form coherent sentences, and even then, their hearts were going so fast that it was hard for them to speak around their pulses.

Both girls on his arms melted against him, while Sandra and Kira stared again.

"Whose is the face in the mask?"

And… in unison, all four girls shouted:

"_**DON'T DO IT CHRISTINE!"**_

However, no matter what, as all Phans have painfully phound out, no matter how loud, and how long you shout, the bad things are always going to happen.

Erik stared in shock. "I never pushed her!" he protested… however, protests went to deaf eats, due to the fact that the girls were too bust shouting insults at the screen to pay any attention to the fuming Phantom.

After a while, they settled down…

A FEW SCENES LATER

"Did I not instruct that box five was to be kept empty?" Again, a collective sigh from the girls, and then while his look alike was choking Buquet…

"KILL HIM!"

"HE'S SO MEAN!"

"HA! TEACH YOU TO LIE ABOUT MY PHANTOM!"

"GO ERIK! NOW DROP HIM!"

And drop him he did. He watched as Christine and Raoul made their way to the roof top, and heard four individual pairs of retching as they sang that damnable song… He himself felt like retching….

When Raoul and Christine's lips touched… the room exploded.

Amanda threw her popcorn container, bouncing it off the screen.

Kira shouted "NO!"

Sandra muttered incoherent cuss words…

And our dear Kristi… covered Erik's eyes and would not let him watch again until Gerard Butler had made his way up to the statue to shout/sing to the sky…

"You will curse the day you did not do, all that the Phantom asked of yoooooou."

Amanda fainted into his arms.

AHEM… AFTER THE FLASHBACK

"Masquerade! Paper faces on parade!" All the girls happily san along, cheerfully dancing in their seats. They even got Erik to sing after a few moments.

Of course, Amanda and Sandra BOTH fained when Erik came out in the 'Red Death (Sexy oh-la-la) (SHARK BAIT OOOH HAHAH!) costume. They instantly revived when the Erik with them started singing.

"Look, they could have kissed…"

"Raoul had to run away and change his pants cause he pee'd himself…"

"Erik looks so good in red… Erik looks so good in anything…"

"KICK HIS FOPPY ARSE!"

Erik stared in shock as the girls screamed. He was rather enjoying this.

"I can't believe she told Raoul!" Amanda mumbled darkly as Madam Giry told Raoul about Erik's past.

"Clearly genius has turned into madness my arse…" Sandra shouted, while Kira and Kristi nodded in agreement.

A FEW SCENES LATER

"Wandering child, so lost, so helpless… yearning for my guidance…"

This time, Sandra and Kira fainted while Amanda and Kristi clung to the singing Phantom. Then Raoul appeared and ruined the whole scene…

AHEM! THE SWORD FIGHT

"How can that FOP think of beating Erik?"

"HA HA HA HA ! HE SLICED HIM!"

"The fight is rigged."

"Erik would have killed him…"

A silent beat, and then…

"Yes, I would have…."

Sorry about skipping so much, but I have to! Tho I am planning on doing a story that is commentary of the movie with the original cast and Phan girls! Sound like fun?

"Seal my fate tonight…" all four girls sang along with Don Juan Triumphant, until…

"Passarino…"

"Go away for the trap is set and waits for it's prey." Erik sang with Gerry, and all four girls let out sighs of contentment and leaned against their seats to keep form melting into little Phangoo puddles in the floor. Erik was genuinely pleased with the girls reaction. They remained in said oblivious state until Christine ripped off Erik/Gerry/Phantomsexyman's mask.

"Still soooo sexy." Amanda stared at the screen, cuddling into Erik's arm.

"I agree." Kristi also cuddled.

Erik stared in amazement at the girls lustful reaction to the distortion on the screen. He kept his mouth wisely shut and watched…

ONCE RAOUL COMES

"Christine, Christine, let me see her…"

Amanda, Kristi, and Sandra all chimed out… "You need glasses… sir…" While Kira muttered about being able to see through the bars…

They sat in silence… until Erik noted sniffles coming from each of the girls…

"Masquerade… paper faces on parade…"

"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kristi and Sandra broke into sobs, while Amanda and Kira sobbed.

"I cannot believe them, singing that while he's standing there so cute and vulnerable…"

"It's over now the music of the… NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!" Amanda, Kira, Kristi, and Sandra threw themselves at Erik, though Amanda did stay up long enough to note the sexy boots. And then, they all sobbed on the unsuspecting Phantom while he stared in amazement.

"BRAVA BRAVA!" Someone shouted, while the lights came up and the girls continued to sob. Amanda looked up, a smile lighting her face.

"Haley?"

XXXxxxXXX


	5. Haley: Part 1

Modern Inconveniences part 5: Operation: MALL

When we last left out Phantom, he had just completed watching a movie entitled… heh, The Phantom of the Opera. Kristi, Sandra, and Kira all turned as Amanda said the name, "Haley." All five girls grinned at one another.

"Haley." Amanda said again, and ran over to give her friend a hug.

"Hey." She gave a small smile, looking at Erik over Amanda's shoulder. "Those clothes look awful." Of course, Haley's speculation was correct. Having went through evil talking toilets, running as fast as he could from evil slash, eating s'mores and getting chocolate all over himself, having a light saber fight, and getting popcorn on himself from the girls throwing it at people during random scenes of the movie (CoughRaoulCough) Our Phantom was indeed a mess. A rather gorgeous mess, but a mess, nonetheless.

"Well," Amanda's voice took on an innocent tone. "What do you want to do about it?" She actually blinked her eyes a couple of times and grinned wickedly.

"I think… I want to take him shopping. Do you have the card?" Haley inquired, hiking one brow. Amanda nodded and pulled a small plastic card from her pants pocket. Now, this card was the key to how these girls were managing to pay for everything that they did (minus the S'mores, because THOSE were Erik's fault). They had taken donations from Phans all around the world. Even if a Phan only gave one dollar… there were millions of Phans… so… the girls had a lot of money to spend (Not to mention that most Phans gave between 20 to 100 dollars.) In short, they were loaded, and ready to spend.

"Of course." Haley nodded. "Okay then, lets go." And so, they went out to the Phantom Car!

The Phantom Car was something that Haley herself had taken a couple of thousand to design. It was a rather large HUMMER, painted black and silver, with masks painted on the doors. Along with the masks were roses, and the Phantom in all of his guises graced the windows. We say windows, because this wonderful car was expanded to have two extra rows of seats. So, it contained room for 14 people. OR, 13 Phan girls and 1 Phantom. Whichever way you prefer to take it.

"Haley, this is…" Sandra looked in awe at the car, while Erik stared at it in suspicion. Having gone through what he'd gone through, he wasn't exactly prepared to take on this new challenge.

"Amazing?" Kristi finished Sandra's statement for her, while Sandra nodded in agreement.

"Totally shot gun!" Amanda shouted, and ran for the door. The other girls piled after her. Only, they didn't notice that Erik stood in place, standing at the giant car before him.

Haley, however did. "What are you waiting for?" She gave him a nudge. "Get it, I made it for you."

Erik stared, looking from the pouting girl in front of him, to the car slightly to the left.

"I don't know if I want to." He finally said.

Haley's eyes widened, as she realized that Erik had never seen such a car before, and this was one big monster of one to introduce him to. "It's perfectly safe. See, Amanda and them are fine."

Erik looked inside the slightly tented windows, to see that Amanda, Kristi, Sandra, and Kira were indeed okay. Infact, all four girls were singing rather loudly to the Phantom soundtrack, Kira and Sandra being Erik, and Amanda and Kristi being Christine. However, as he stared, they switched off, rotating parts. Bemused, he turned back to Haley.

"I don't know if that's safe." Haley smirked.

"I'll protect you." She took his arm, and lead him towards the car. Finally, she maneuvered him inside, and closed the door.

"All set?" Haley looked over her shoulder, and grinned, taking the keys with a couple of different key chains on it. Just a few of them read, "Got Phantom" With a large mask. "Erik for President" On another. "He's there, inside MY mind" On the last.

"Yeah!" A chorus of female voices rang, with a lower, 'I suppose' From the male voice.

"Good, lets go." And so, with the insertion of the key, the car started, and away they went.

XXXxxxXXX


	6. Hayley part 2

AN: Sorry it took so long. Me and Hayley typed this up together. I'm me, and Hayley is Hayley. Lol, we both twisted Erik around how we pleased.

Modern Inconveniences: Hayley part 2

After coaxing Erik into the seat, Hayley shut the music off for a moment.

"SHUT IT!" she shouted. "Now...I would like everyone to buckle up. Amanda, please show Erik how to use his seat belt, would you love?"

Amanda gave a small nod and turned to Erik. "Here, let me do it for you." She then proceeded to happily buckle him up... She looked around vaguely afterwards... "I think that everyone ran away during my long updating transition..." She shrugged. "You ready?"

Erik gave a rather loud gulp and nodded.

Then here we go! shouted Hayley, and turned the key, starting the car and they were off!

Erik's arms gripped the edge of the seat, and he let out a rather loud whimper. The machine... growled at him... Amanda noticed his rather pale... er... complexion... "It's okay... really."

After some little time, the group arrived at a placed called, 'Towne Centre...' where Hayley steered the car and finally parked it. "C'mon," she said, getting out, "We're going in by the Food Court."

After a few moments, she realized that she was walking alone. If she took the time to look back, she would find one extremely frightened Phantom with his hands clutching the seat for dear life, and one annoyed Phan girl trying to pry him out.

Hayley turned around and walked back to the car. "Amanda, lemme deal if you please," she said. She walked over to Erik, laying her hand on his. "It's all right. this is a carriage, and it stopped. C'mon now--let's get out."

He looked wildly around, and then shook his head. "Do you not see all of those people..."

"It's okay," she said gently, "We're with you--and nothing's gonna happen as long as you're with us, okay?"

With a small nod, he held out one hand for Hayley, and one hand for Amanda. "I think I need my light saber."

Amanda gave a small laugh and took his hand.

Hayley also took Erik's hand, and they all three went into the mall together. As they went in, Hayley leaned behind Erik so she could see her friend and mouthed the words, 'Hot Topic?' at her

Amanda's mouth widened in an extremely excited smile, when she mouthed also. "Leather pants and a trench coat..."

Hayley had to stifle her giggles as they led Erik, arm in arm, to some store called Hot Topic... where loud, obnoxious music played and lots of people were dressed like Hayley and Amanda as well.

Amanda grinned, looking down at her clothes. The wonderful black shirt and tight blue jeans, and her black coat. She giggled happily, looking around. "I think that looks good." She pointed at a long coat.

Hayley looked at the coat and then her friend. They nodded at once picking out the right size and held them against him and finally selected the perfect size.

Amanda gave an approving nod, and then her eyes widened in delight. Along the walls are many many masks. Erik looked around in confusion, the lights and music slightly befuddling him. Everyone in here seemed to be dressed the same way as Amanda and Hayley... and he had a strange suspicion that they were going to dress him up too.

Hayley grabbed Amanda's shoulder, and turned her to look her in the eyes, and shook her head, pointing over to the racks of shirts and trousers

She gave a bit of a pout, and then grabbed Erik's arm and dragged him along behind her towards the rack.

Hayley sifted through the rack, picking out certain shirts and holding them against Erik, and either nodding and putting them over her arm or shaking her head and putting it back.

Amanda strolled off towards the back of the store, and gave a small smile, picking through belts for Erik.

Erik looked at Hayley as she continued to hold shirts up at him. When a particularly vicious one, and hot-pink one that said 'All of my black shirts were dirty' comes into view, he gives a rather large step back.

Hayley giggles, putting that one back on the rack. "Calm down, Erik--you're too manly to wear pink." she said.

"Manly?" He looked down at himself. He just didn't see it. He gave a shrug, as Amanda popped around the corner with three different belts, and a few other items. "Here ya go."

"Great!" replied Hayley, holding out her hand to Erik. "Come on--now we need to get you to try these things on."

Amanda gave an extremely loud giggle. "If you don't know how to get some of it on..." Erik gave her an extremely dirty look. She quickly shut her mouth, but continued to laugh.

Hayley laughed as well. She handed him a couple of outfits and opened the dressing room door..."Okay. Lessee how you look!" she said, nearly shoving him inside and locking the door from the outside... whistling as she twirled the key on her finger.

Amanda gave a happy laugh and looked at the few things she had grabbed for herself while browsing for Erik...

Our Phantom on the other hand, was trying to figure out exactly how to put on a particular pair of pants. After a few tries, he tied the leather and slid on the coat over the red shirt, adjusting his mask, he stepped out.

Amanda, who had been fiddling with a key chain, dropped it as her mouth dropped open.

Hayley's jaw also dropped, and she had to get against the wall to keep herself from fainting.

Erik's eyes widened happily to their little reaction. He thought that the clothes had looked rather silly, but... "How do I look."?

Amanda tried to speak, but her mouth just opened and closed.

Hayley began to just smile happily, and did for a while before saying, "Okay--that works. Now the next one," she said, handing it to him and repeating the first part. Erik took the clothes and returned to the room. He had just struggled into these clothes, and now she wanted him to take them off?

Amanda pulled herself out of her stupor. "Which outfit was that?"

"Some a little more--sophisticated," she said, glaring at the door devilishly

Amanda gave her a rather dirty look. "Which one?"

Erik stepped out of the room once more. A black satin shirt graced his chest, and some nice dressy-ish pants clung to the lower half of his body.

Now prepared to not be so overwhelmed, and totally ready to not drool... Amanda fell over.

Hayley also fell over, landing fortunately for her, in a heal of clothing

Erik's grin widened, as he turned around for him. Amanda stood up, and then shoved an outfit at him. "OK! Try on mine now." Erik turned and walked back into the room.

Hayley came out of her stupor, quickly picking up clothes.

He walked back out a few moments later with a see through fishnet shirt clinging to his top, a black Don Juan Mask, a wide belt with a skull on the front holding up a pair of baggy black leather pants. Amanda gave a dazed look.

Hayley cleared her throat, looking rather interested.

Amanda continued to start at him like an idiot...

"Amanda," began Hayley sweetly, "What in the WORLD made you think fishnet?" she asked through gritted teeth.

Amanda continued to stare happily at the wonderfully exposed chest... "I... uh..."

Erik crossed his arms, making the shirt pull tighter against his chest. "Amanda, I think that you got the wrong sized shirt..."

Amanda gave a nervous giggle. "No, it's just right."

Hayley threw another outfit at him. "Here, Erik--forget Miss Horney over here."

Amanda gave Hayley a rather dirty look, and stood up, taking the shirt out of Erik's hands. "You're lucky that I don't just down you right here and now, you evil woman." She glared at her, before handing Erik back the shirt.

Erik was rather confused, and quickly ran back into the changing room, away from the two crazy ladies outside.

--

AN: End for this part. I'll have more later!


End file.
